So here we are, together at last. I must admit it has been a struggle since the new PA has been in place, not just for me, but for my son as well. After so many years apart there has been a lot to learn, change and adapt to for the both of us. He has been through more than his fair share of struggles, moving around so much in his short 13 yrs of life. Now that he has finally got an established and stable home, it has been a difficult task for him to completely adjust to. Having ADHD/ADD and now suffering from depression, he is lost in which direction to go. From having to act like a grown-up to learning to be a true adolescent has truly taken it’s toll on both of us, emotionally and mentally. We have both been struggling to work through all the difficulties that life has thrown us through the years, from the fear of him having to just pack up and move again without a moments notice to his anger issues and compliance with going to school. As for me, I try so hard to reinforce that this is home and this will always be his home. For the first time he has own room, his own bed, his own personal space. That it’s just me and him, no roommates that he doesn’t get along with, no getting kicked out, no one to call him horrible names…just me and all the love in the world that I have for him. He can be just a kid, even though he feels like he still has to be the man of the house…lol. The biggest challenge is trying to overcome all the anger he has pent up inside. It kills me to see him so lost in this whole new different world. It’s so strange to him, to have structure and stability. He is so accustomed to having to fend for himself and just run away from the problems he has, now he must stop running and face the consequences of his actions. And my biggest problem is that I must stop looking at him like the little boy that he was when all of this started, that I can not baby him. I know I need to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them, that I can not save him from everything he does wrong. All I can is guide him in the right direction and help to make the right choices. It’s no easy feat, I can promise you that. Parental Alienation is very real and very difficult to overcome for the alienated parent and child. Once reunited, both have to adjust to an entire different way of living and coping with life. The terms which both previously lived on are so ingrained in each, that it’s a struggle everyday. As an alienated parent, I must learn that I do not have to fight to be reunited with my child, he is here with me and for the alienated child, he must learn to overcome the fear that he is going to be taken away again. We go to therapy together and separately, to learn to cope with all these new changes. Me learning that he is not a baby anymore and him learning that it is okay and healthy to open up about his emotions, to learn to be an average teenage boy. We have been through a traumatic event from our separation and it is going to take time for us both to overcome. I have faith that we will and that God has a great plan for us. We have good days and we have bad days, both either way, we are blessed to be together again. I am no longer the ‘Mother Forgotten’, I am just plainly blessed to be ‘Mother Here’
This has been my mantra for as long as I can remember, no matter what the outcome of all my court proceedings, I would always say to myself, “Never, never give up!” I knew in my heart and soul that one day me and my son would be together. That I would be able to see him grow into an awesome young man, that I he would always know and feel his mother’s love.
Years I fought for this dream to become a reality, never stopping to listen to the negative things that people would say, never listening to the voice inside my head telling me to give up. In my heart, I always knew that God had much bigger plans for me and my son…I just had to be patient and learn that it was all in His timing. Through depression, drug use and totally wanting to just throw in the towel at times….my mind screamed, “Never, never give up!”
I’m proud, excited, overwhelmed with joy to say that as of February 20th, 2014…my battle to win against Parental Alienation has come to an end. My fight which started in 2005 has now been closed and my son is now home. No longer are we separated, we are together everyday! All because I “Never, Never gave up!” I never stopped, I never backed down, even when I couldn’t afford a lawyer (which was 90% of the time), I never quit!
I promised my son when he was 6 years old that I would bring him home, I promised him that even when he wasn’t allowed to see me or talk to me, that I was always fighting and that I would never stop! My son is now 13 and is HOME!!! Unlike his father and paternal grandparents, I will never keep them away from him. My son deserves to know that his family loves and cares about him. Not to mention that I could never repay their acts of negligence or alienation of my son from me and my family in the same manner, that would be unforgivable. I am a bigger and better woman than that. Also I want my son to know that what has been done is not the right way to live. I want him to know that love, kindness and forgiveness are the paths that he should always follow.
My words of encouragement to all of those who are still continuing to struggle with Parental Alienation….NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! Hold your high, even when you feel like you are getting no where and that the world and the system are failing you and your children, don’t despair. Look within yourself for you are so much stronger than you think…ALWAYS believe that God knows what He’s doing and the time will come when you will have your children, no matter what age they are…you will always be their mom or dad.
Mother Forgotten...Parental Alienation 